Big Machine
by Jiwwy
Summary: Ginny's feeling underappreciated and no matter how hard she tries she can't get this feeling to go away. What happens when she decides to strike back-- With the help of one Draco Malfoy? REVISING.
1. Break From the Mold

_

* * *

Break from the mold__, never do what your told  
After all, what are feelings of rage for?  
So I say, I got a sureshot way to work things out  
All of this growing up has worn you down  
I got a sureshot way to kill your doubts  
Find what your following and chase it down_  
**_--Yellowcard, Sure Shot_**

I still had a few minutes until breakfast started, and I was supposed to meet Hermione, Ron, and Harry in the Common Room. I made sure Emily and Matilda weren't going to finish with their showers for a while, and they wouldn't, so I went over to the mirror quietly to glare at my reflection. One of the things I'd never do is show my roommates that I sometimes _do_ care about what I look like. I pride myself almost childishly on the fact that I don't give a damn about most things they do. They think I'm so weird, but we're friends anyway.

Examining the reflection I see, I unconsciously criticize myself. Hermione said I'm prettier than she is, but any girl will say that in order to see their friend argue against the claim, even Hermione. Anyway, she knows it's not true; the girl is beautiful. Just not in that usual way. She's soft-complexioned and snow-white, with soft lips and fluttery eyelashes. Her hair _can_ be a horror, but some days it has its own disheveled poetry, reflected back in the eyes of my brother and Harry. They're both just so shy and it rakes my nerves. Why can't they just go on with it and tell her what she is? That whole group is just full of mixed messages and incomprehension. Sometimes it's cute, but sometimes it sickens me… but I guess if either of them made a move towards Hermione, the other would snap. That would be fun to watch, in a morbid sort of way.

I suppose the thing I mean to say, is that I am not prettier than Hermione. Especially after that mishap back in third year when she'd been attacked on her way to potions, ending in her now perfect teeth. My own teeth are straight, but a bit large, making my smiles juvenile (not large enough to be bucky like poor Hermione was). My nose is too long and my cheeks are still full with baby fat. It isn't fair that in my cheeks is centered all the fat that Ron is missing. 

They only thing I guess I like about my face is my brown eyes… I like to call them 'mahogany' because 'brown' just sounds so plain. I suppose my hair isn't too horrible either. Bright red, it's really shiny and it always glints like copper. When I was younger Mum used to have me wear it in pigtails with the fringe so short and curled I could die. As soon as I started at Hogwarts I stopped doing it like that. Of course, it looked positively horrible my first few years… I daresay I had an excuse to look bad in my first year, but… I won't go into that. Around last year I learned a few basic curling charms from waiting for Emily to get ready, and toned them down so my hair now has the slightest wave, with small curls at the end. I'm rather proud of it, now that I think about it. And now it's looking better as my fringe is longer. Eh. Time to meet the Trio.

"Oh Gin!" It's Emily. I cringe as she bounces into the room in a towel like a muggle cheerleader or something. "What's wrong?"

"Don't prance… Especially not in that towel."

She grins and hops again. The towel strains from her breasts. I pity it.

"God, you can take someone's eye out with those things," I murmur as I grab my messenger bag, but smile quietly to myself. Leah was very proud of her growth spurt last summer. Before then all three of us were equally pancake-like, but now Megan and I get to tease her newfound buxomness. Actually, over the summer we'd also gotten bits of shapes and we were carrying a little more up top, but really nothing much to boast about.

"Got to go see my brother."

Emily's eyes flashed with interest. She knew that "my brother" not only entailed Ron Weasley, but also Hermione Granger and, best of all, Harry Potter. 

"Emily, we'll be across the table from you, calm down." I smiled a small smile, and my eyes flicked back to my reflection. "It's only Harry Potter anyway. He's been around here since we came."

She smiled again – why did it seem the smile was different? — and went over to her bed. "See you, Ginny."

"Yup." I left with a wave over my shoulder.

* * *

Breakfast is probably one of the few things at Hogwarts that doesn't change from day to day. Well, usually. 

See, you go in the room and wait until eight, if you come early. At exactly eight, Dumbledore comes in. When he sits down, every empty plate at the tables fills with food, and you start eating. Breakfast is from eight to nine, and classes start at a quarter after nine. My first class is Muggle Studies, but now I'm getting ahead of myself.

Hermione sat next to Harry and Harry tipped his cup over in a tired motion to make room for her. How suave. I shrugged my bag off my shoulder and dug in it for my Muggle Studies text, then scooted my plate half off the table to lay the book flat. Ron, sitting next to me, looked at the pages disinterestedly after smirking at Harry a while. 

We ate in silence for a few minutes as I read about muggle "motion pictures" that don't really move, but just have lots of frames in a row going by really fast, when Draco Malfoy went past, his arm around a beaming Pansy Parkinson. Ron raised his eyebrows from Malfoy to Harry, and Harry looked up. Malfoy noticed him.

"What's wrong, Potter, never seen a girl before?" he asked loudly, then made a point of studying Hermione and me. "Well, I suppose not. Gryffindor doesn't exactly hold the record for looks, does it?"

Hermione blushed only slightly, but Harry gained his composure faster than she did. "Don't… don't insult Hermione like that." Well, okay, maybe there wasn't much composure to gain. I tried not to stare at him. Malfoy'd insulted _me _too, didn't he?

"Oh, I'm so _sorry,_ I was insulting Granger? You'll have to excuse me, how rude of me!" Malfoy said, with mock surprise. "_Deepest_ regrets, Granger." He spat, his words dripping with fake sympathy. Hermione carefully ignored him. I tried to not show the hurt on my face, but then Harry suddenly put his arm around Hermione. Both Ron and I gaped. The seal of ignorance over the trio snapped. Malfoy smirked, watching this scene, his arm still holding Pansy like a bad actor held his one forgotten prop. 

I knew Harry had liked Hermione, but he had to have known I liked him too, right? Was he that inconsiderate?

"I'm done…," I whispered, placing my hand on Ron's shoulder as I tried to get up. "… Eating. I'm done." My plate tumbled and my greasy eggs landed on my black robes. I bit my lip and my face heated up as I snatched my book and ignored the eggs. This was happening too fast. I took a deep breath, hoping it was over, then turned and ran into Malfoy. Actually, I ran into Malfoy's prefect badge. He stared down at me and I would have glared up at him, but it's hard to glare when your crush is as good as going out with your friend, you have eggs all down your front, and your nose has just been stamped with a huge "P." I sighed and just stood there, my forehead against Malfoy's chest. He stared down at me and didn't do anything for a while, then backed away. Sensing enough room to go by, I did. I passed right past Emily and Matilda. They stopped but I waved them on as I made my way back up to the dormitory.

* * *

I'd already taken a shower that day, and class started in half an hour, but I really needed to calm down, so I took my fluffiest towel and went down into the girls' bathroom, off the side of the common room. 

I turned it as hot as it would go and stepped in. At Hogwarts, the showers can go surprisingly, scathingly hot, and that's exactly what I needed at the moment. I watched my skin turn red from the heat, my hair nearly matching it, and thought. I hated it when I got so emotional, but I always did. I always ended up crying, or sometimes making someone else cry, and then I'd get totally pissed at myself and make myself cry more. I shouldn't be so emotional, especially in my situation. I mean, I'm the youngest, and the only girl, in a family of seven. I'm treated like I'm explosive, just a poor little girl, and I hate it— but then I give them _reason_ to think that by acting just like it. I'm horrible.

After a while, when my skin feels ready to melt off of me, I turn the shower off and snuggle inside the towel. The walk back to the dormitory is torturously cold after leaving the warm, humid bathroom, and I snuggle inside the towel on my bed for a while to warm up before dressing and wrapping a smaller towel around my hair like a turban.

Feeling a bit better, I got up and looked at the clock, then sighed angrily. Muggle Studies had started already. I really didn't feel like going.

As I brushed my hair out, I looked for another set of robes, but the dirty laundry had been picked up and I didn't have as many clothes as the other girls. I grabbed a spare pair of Matilda's and put them on over my sweatervest and skirt. After the curling charms were applied and the hair was combed, I sighed and grabbed my bag again, starting down the stairs for the second time that day. Transfiguration was next… If I took my time, I'd be there just about when Matilda, Emily, Colin, Peter, and the others arrived.

* * *

The whole way there, I still wasn't able to get my overreaction out of my head, and then I mentally kicked myself because now I was overreacting about my overreaction. This is how it is to be a woman, I suppose. 

I was still a little early arriving at McGonagall's classroom. I stood next to the door and leaned on the wall, trying not to think at all anymore. 

I don't know if it was the lack of thinking or what, but that class was taking an awfully long time to get out. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I was really getting impatient after a few minutes of waiting for them. I sighed and went closer to the door, getting up on my tiptoes to try to see through the window near the top of the door. Before I could get a clear view, the door slammed open. I went flying.

"Damnit!" I screamed, my voice echoing through the hall. 

"Oh, for godssake— Aw, it's little _Weas_ley." 

I recognized the voice immediately. "_Damn_ you, Malfoy."

"Clever, clever little Weasley."

Pushing my hair out of the way, I looked up and glared at him. He was smiling smugly. Suddenly, I got an idea.

"Draco…" I pronounced carefully, studying him and wondering just how crazy I was.

He cocked an eyebrow at the use of his first name. "What?" he snapped.

I stood up carefully. My eyes were level with his shoulders. Looking him up and down, I took a deep breath. "Draco, will you be my boyfriend?"

Both of us just stood there and stared at each other as the rest of the class filtered out of the room. I don't think either of us expected me to say that. "Go on and leave. Pretty Potter must've rotted your brain. You're mental, Weasley."

"I'm not."

He opened his mouth, and then closed it again. I'd killed his poise with my challenge. "I… I'm going with Pansy."

"Fuck Pansy." I answered quickly.

"Wait until tonight." He said automatically. He was set on default smart-arse. 

I paused, then, registering what he said, laughed in spite of myself. "No, I'm serious. I'm very serious. Come here." I dragged him out of the way of the crowd of Slytherins loitering in the hall. "Think of it, Malfoy. You don't like Harry, or my brother, do you?"

"I don't like Gryffindors in general, Weasley."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But… well, I'm frankly sick of it."

"Because Potter loves the Mudblood."

He'd killed my poise. "Er… I… guess." … Dear God, he was right.

He nodded. I shook my head and thought about how to continue.

"Well… how could we piss them off, Malfoy? What would make them – all of them – more mad then anything else?"

His eyes narrowed, but he smirked at me. "That's actually sort of cunning."

"So you get it, then? Deal?" I smiled back, and he cocked an eyebrow.

"Deal... but you're fucking _mental._" He held out a hand, but I didn't take it. I looked around, then back at him, with the flirtiest smile I could manage. Some Slytherins were watching us talk.

I stood on tiptoes again, turned my face up, and kissed him. Jesus was I self-conscious. How fast that feeling melts when you're with a brilliant actor such as he.

He froze for a second, then, laughing into my lips, let me kiss him, putting his hand on my waist. He gripped it comfortably, and I was thinking that it really wasn't all that bad, but then I pulled back. "Bye, Draco," I said loudly, as sweet as I could, then went into the classroom.

* * *

This is redone from a story I did when I was 14. I'm now 16 and I haven't made a lot of changes; just cut out the obviously stupid parts. Please review, but do so before you read the next few chapters, which suck a lot worse and make little sense. 


	2. Ecstasy is All You Need

_Ecstasy is all you need  
Living in the big machine now  
Oh, you're so vain  
Now your world is way too fast  
Nothin's real and nothing lasts  
And I'm aware_

_I'm in love but you don't care  
Turn your anger into lust  
I'm still here, but you don't trust at all  
And I'll be waiting_

**_--Goo Goo Dolls, Big Machine_**

"So Malfoy, how are we going to get this to work?" I ask him as I grab a tree branch, sort of half-heartedly hanging from it, the Saturday after we agreed to go out. Him being a Slytherin and a year ahead of me meant we didn't see each other very much, so we'd decided to meet by the lake.

He shrugs, watching me as he sits down. "I dunno, how you'd _usually_ do an inter-house relationship, maybe."

"How does one do that?"

"Um… I dunno."

"You should know, you're the big, bad seventh-year here. You've seen more than I have."

"Yeah, but you're in Gryffindor. Slytherins aren't big on inter-house."

I let go of the branch and go to sit next to him on the grass. He studies me again. "So this going out bit, does it include benefits?"

I feel my face go red. "Er. I dunno. What… what kind of benefits?"

He doesn't answer. He just smirks.

"You're amazingly smug."

"You just noticed this?" he asks, leaning back and tilting his head towards the sun. "What an observant little Weasley."

I shove him backwards onto the grass. 

"What! We have to make it believable so Potter will get _desperately jealous!"_ He said, sighing happily as if the notion brought a flutter to his heart.

"How believable are you going for?" I ask, biting my nail and avoiding his eyes. I never thought I'd be having this conversation with Malfoy.

"Oh, I dunno…" He thought about this carefully, and then turned on his side to face me. "How do you feel about… slumber parties?"

I gaped. That _bastard_. "No fucking way!"

"What?" he asked lazily with a smirk. "I thought _you_ were the one Gryffindor who could actually take a joke.

I calmed down slightly. "You think too highly of us," I muttered.

"I know… I shouldn't be so kind, should I?"

I smiled. When someone is your enemy, you really don't realize how funny they are. He watches me carefully, and then he turns to look behind him. "Look, here come the lovebirds and the Weasel now…" he drawled quietly, watching over his shoulder.

"Draco, that's my broth—" But I was quickly cut off; just as Harry, Ron, and Hermione came into my line of vision Draco tackled me. I punched at his chest as he smothered me with his lips. This _wasn't_ _exactly_ romantic. After a while, however, I stopped squirming and let him have his way… only for show of course… He took my right hand in his left and smoothly brought it behind my head on the grass like a scene from a romance novel, and for some reason I started to feel calm as he did that. I didn't bother to think of how utterly absurd this was, for My Crush's Nemesis to be making out with me in the middle of the grounds, with the crush himself less than thirty yards away, I only thought of how… well, comfortable… I felt. As Draco felt me calm under him his kiss became less harsh and I noticed—it was surprising how much those lips— poison to the wrong people— could be so like angel wings when he wished. I don't know why angel wings popped into my mind, but angel wings was the _only_ way to describe them. Well, maybe fallen angel wings. 

He'd taken my other hand in his entwining his fingers in mine, and I could feel mine shaking. I had to keep thinking to myself, only for show, only for show, but just as I thought, hell, why not enjoy it… he slowly drew back and looked at me, as if for approval.

No… not for approval… there was something like incredulity… or _something_ in there…  I opened my eyes and breathed him in, wondering so vaguely why I'd ever thought his eyes were cold gray… they were a living, intense quicksilver color… gorgeous…

"Ginny." He whispered in a voice that matched his fallen angel lips. It made me shiver.

"Yes, Draco?" I asked, only then realizing that I hadn't inhaled for the last minute or so.

He rolled off me and my body tingled. "They're gone."

"Did…" I was too drained to stand, but my cells still danced with the aftermaths of… of _him_, "did they see us?"

"Dunno." He leaned back again nonchalantly. 

I couldn't stop staring at him.

"What?" he snapped.

I shrugged without saying anything. Really, there wasn't anything special at all about what happened…

I'd only just seen that Draco Malfoy had a heart.

***

A few minutes after The Kiss, I was disorientedly making my way back to the common room. I didn't see Ron standing by the Fat Lady until _he_ noticed _me_. 

"Guinevere Weasley!" He hollered.

"'Lo, Ron." 

"Mind telling me where you've been this afternoon?"

I considered this. "You know, don't you," I thought aloud.

"_Of_ _course I know!_" He hissed.

I smiled. "Thought as much!"

"Malfoy, eh?"

"Good guess."

"Ginny! Why are you being like this?"

"Hmm? What's the password?"

"What?"

I pointed to the Fat Lady. "The _password, _Ron!"

"_Why are you being like this_?"

I turned to the Fat Lady. "Why are you being like this." I stated chipperly.

"Damnit Ginny, are you drunk or something?" Ron yelled.

"Ron, shh!" I said soothingly. "Now if you'll just give me the password, we can go _inside_ and then we can talk."

"Why don't you just go in the bloody Slytherin Common Room?"

"Think I should?"

"_Ginny_!"

"_Ron, _honestly!" Hermione suddenly popped through the portrait hole. "You can hear you arguing from miles away… Ginny, come here, we need to talk."

"No we don't."

"Yes we _do_ Ginny, now come on in…"

"Hermione…" I cocked my head to the side. "Don't tell me you're taking their side?"

"Their side?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I need sleep." I said quietly, trying to push past her, but she stopped me. 

"What do you mean, their side, Ginny?"

Her eyes searched mine out from the floorboards. She looked at me like a disappointed mother. I hated when she got that look. "I just thought you'd be my friend about it, that's all… I need sleep…" I said quietly and then ducked under her arm. She let me go to my dormitory.

"It's six in the evening!" Ron yelled after me, but I ignored him.

***

"I'm telling you, Harry, she doesn't want us to talk to her." 

How totally discreet, they're discussing whether to come in and talk to me… right in front of my door. I'm sitting on my bed playing with the loose threads in my nightshirt and listening to them. At first, I'd thought about switching on Leah's wireless (Of course it's wireless, it runs on magic. Ahahaha.) and jamming the muggle stations Megan had gotten it to play in a particularly techy moment. She can get like that. 

Harry starts to talk, quieter than he usually does, which is still very quiet. "I reckon it's my fault… I mean, she did kind of," I pictured him squirming under Hermione's gaze, like he tended to do, "_like_ me, you know…" 

"What does that have to do with it?" Ron snapped. I'd thought he'd gone.

There was a pause, and then Harry answered. "Well, you _know_, Ron… ever since Hermione and I… have been going together…"

"You two are going together?"

I picture much squirming going on in the next pause. Then Hermione speaks. "Well, Ron, I'd thought you knew…"

"But…" a knock on the door. Ron was fidgeting. "But, I…"

Pause.

"Never mind."

"You… what, Ron?"

"Never mind," he mumbled. "How about we just leave Ginny alone?"

Pause.

"What was _that_?" Harry whispered, I supposed to Hermione. Ron must have left then.

Hermione didn't say anything, but I guess she realized the same time as I did that Ron had had a crush on her. 

I lay back on my pillow, trying to keep from smiling. Hermione and Harry really shouldn't have gone out, with all the trouble it was causing. Hehe. 


	3. Waking Up in the Breakdown

_You and I got something  
But it's all and then it's nothing to me, yeah  
And I got my defenses  
When it comes through your intentions for me, yeah  
  
And we wake up in the breakdown  
With the things we never thought we could be, yeah_

_I'm not the one who broke you  
I'm not the one you should fear  
We got to move you darling  
I thought I lost you somewhere  
But you were never really ever there at all  
  
And I want to get free  
Talk to me  
I can feel you falling  
And I wanted to be  
All you need  
Somehow here is gone_

**_--Goo Goo Dolls, Here Is Gone_****__**

"Asking me why I was sorted into Slytherin is like asking you why you were sorted into Gryffindor… why were _you_ sorted into Gryffindor?"

"I'm brave?"

"No, no, no. Because of your family, that's why you were sorted into Gryffindor."

"How so?"

He smirked over at the window at my stupidity. We were in the library today on a supposed study date the Monday afternoon after the lake incident, mostly talking the entire time. I'd been avoiding Hermione, she kept sending me glances at dinner to come and sit by her, but I tried my best to make it look like I didn't see her. Harry and Ron were trying to avoid _me,_ so they wouldn't have to go through the guilt of not talking me out of Draco when they talked to me. In the dorm room and at classes, Leah kept trying to lean in closer to ask me something, but Megan hits her in the stomach with her elbow.

"Every single Weasley has been a Gryffindor, right?"

I thought about this. "Except mum's second cousin, Raymond."

"Yeah. Raymond, sure. So, what would your parents say if you were put in Slytherin?"

"I dunno what they'd say… there'd be pain, most likely."

"Yes, see. But look at you. You're cunning. You're clever. You can take care of yourself. Definitely Slytherin material, I'd say. The problem is, you've been raised thinking it's all bad to be one. I mean to say, I'd suit any other house just as well as I do Slytherin, but I chose not to, of course."

"You _chose_ not to. So you're saying you could make an excellent Hufflepuff." I said, smirking a little and playing with my quill.

"Hey now, I'm very patient. As long as I get my way eventually."

"That's wonderful." 

"Oh look, it's your… _friends,_" he drawled, as he tended to do whenever Gryffindors I knew passed. Leah and Megan were going by in the hall. Leah only noticed me when they were almost out of sight of the library, then ran back to our table. Megan turned back and, now noticing us for the first time too and realizing that Leah was about to do something untactful, as she tended to do, ran after her.

"Geroff, Meg!" Leah said, shaking her and finally coming to a rest in the chair next to Malfoy. "Why, hello, Gin, long time no see, eh?" she asked, rounding some loose hair behind her ears and grinning pointedly at Draco. He gave her a sidewise smirk. I kicked him under the table. Megan, glaring at Leah the whole time, went to the seat across from her and next to me. "I don't believe you've Introduced us to your…" Leah conspicuously looked Draco up and down. How did I come to be friends with such a flirt? "Your… beau. Seventh year, yeah?"

Draco nodded.

"You wouldn't happen to be… Draco Malfoy, would you?"

Megan mumbled something under her breath that sounded more than a lot like, "crazy bint." Draco, however, made no signs of annoyance. "That I am. You've heard of me."

"Yeah! You're almost as popular a topic as The Crimson Wave in the girls' washroom!"

I snorted and put my face in my book at that. Draco turned away from us and tried to keep from laughing. Megan turned red but started giggling too before she realized what a fool Leah was trying (with all her might) to make the both of them look like, and got up and dragged her out of the library. As they left I tried to calm myself down, then Leah turned back and tried to say "G'bye Love!" when Megan punched her in the stomach and she finally ran off, giggling. Madame Pince almost started off after them, but instead glared over at Draco and I, looking quite capable of murder.

"Well, that was different," Draco admitted as he finally turned back to the table, his cheeks a little rosy from trying not to laugh. 

"You can't say they aren't more fun than Crabbe and Goyle."

"It's a tough choice," he admitted, scratching his chin. "Am I really as popular as the menstrual cycle? I'm quite proud of myself, now…"

I shook my head and went back to my homework.

"Hey, hey, what're you doing?"

"Homework?"

"Why?"

I blinked. "Because you sort of _have to_, Draco."

"Oh come on. Come with me…"

He got up and took my hand. We left our books there and walked out of the library, Draco saluting at Madame Pince before turning the corner.

***

"Come on, up you go…" 

"Draco, this is the Astronomy Tower."

"Yeah?" He gave me an innocently blank look. 

"Draco, I'm not… I can't…" I blushed and looked around. The Astronomy Tower was for couples. Like, _real_ couples. 

"Oh come on, I may be a horny bastard, but I'm not… that… horny…" he said conversationally, dragging me up another stair to the door of the classroom on the top of the tower at each of his last words. "We just need some privacy."

"Draco!"

"I don't mean that kind of privacy, my _god…_ crazy paranoid goody-goodies…"

"I am not a goody-goody, Malfoy!"

"Yes, yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

He gave me One of His Looks, this one daring me to prove it. I glared at him. He loved to push people, but I already knew that. "Fine." I said quietly, before grabbing the back of his head and pushing it down towards me. 

I got one of the tingles that I had gotten the last time he'd kissed me, two days ago. Part of it may have been the ice-cold cement sinking through my heavy robes to my back, but you know. 

I kept my hand on his head and leaned forward, trying to steady myself against the wall behind me with my other hand. I was having to get on my tiptoes to get to him, and somehow he sensed this and, holding either side of my waist, held me up a little higher, which just made me feel even dizzier, but in a good way. I suddenly felt him smirking against my mouth and remembered how we'd gotten to kissing again, then smacked him and jerked my head back. 

"What, you're the one who did it, I was the one who didn't want to come up here for that, anyway!"

"Bastard, bastard, bastard." I mumbled quietly to myself. "You tricked me into that, didn't you?"

"Oh, I didn't mean to when we were coming up here, but the opportunity just came up and, what can I say, I'm a Slytherin." 

"I noticed. Bastard."

"I love you too."

I was getting rather annoyed. "What did you want to come up here to do… _privately_?"

"Talk." He said simply as he entered the circular room that was Hogwarts' Astronomy Tower. It was just like any other tower at Hogwarts, you couldn't stand on top of it, because more than a few students have fallen. So instead, they just knocked out the roof and have huge, unbreakable windows fifteen feet high. The walls have five feet of window, five of wall, five of window, wall, so on, all the way around the tower. In the middle of the room is a small mound where the teacher instructs each student where to look. It was one of my favorite rooms at Hogwarts. 

"Talk?" I asked, shivering in the late afternoon air, glancing at the sun dipping under the horizon. "We were talking in the library, weren't we?"

"Not in private." He answered, going over the western windows and watching the sun too.

"Talk, what about?"

"I wanted you to ask me something."

My eyebrows twitched in confusion. "You… wanted… what?"

"I want you to ask me to go out with you."

"Wait… let me try to figure out what you're saying. You want me to ask you to go out with me. Yes?"

"Yeah."

"So. It would please you, if I went over there next to you, and asked you to go out with me."

"That's a good girl."

"But, why don't you ask me… aren't we already going out?"

"No, see, in a sense, we are going out. But not really."

"Yes."

"No… I mean, yes, but that's bad."

I stared. "You mean you really want to… _really_ go out with me?"

"No, you do."

"… What?"

"Just fucking ask me already."

"Will you go out with me?" I asked as if I were guessing an answer in a hard class.

He suddenly looked very aristocratic. "Well… I don't know, you are a… _Gryffindor_…" He said, sneering slightly. "But why not." He ran a hand through his hair and looked at the window again, then back at me. "Okay, there we are."

I blinked. 

He stared, leaning against the wall.

"What _was_ that about?"

"I couldn't bloody well ask a Gryffindor to go out with me, could I?"

I thought about this. "So, wait, we're really going out?"

"Yep."

"But… you mean you really wanted to go out with me?"

"You expect me to go with Pansy?"

"You have gone with Pansy."

"Don't make this difficult, Ginny. Say, that isn't your real name, is it?"

"No, it's Guinevere," I said quietly, still thinking through his logic.

"_Guinevere?_"

"You know, King Arthur's wife?"

"Yeah, I know… but how does one get Ginny from _that?"_

"Ron couldn't pronounce 'Gwen' when he was young and called me Gin."

"Ugh, I wouldn't liked to be called Ginny all the time…"

I thought about this. "You know, it really isn't that pretty a name, is it. And everyone always spells it Jenny."

"I'll call you Gwen."

I watched him carefully from the center of the room. A lock of pearl-colored hair was almost glittering in the sunset light. "Why don't you ever show anyone this side of you, Draco?"

He pushed the lock back, molding it back into the gelled hair it had come loose from. "I can't. Weakness is one thing a Slytherin can't show." He finally answered quietly.

"Caring isn't a weakness."

"Yes it is." He stated firmly. 

I bit my lip. "I suppose… to a certain extent… it could be."

His eyes grew stony. "I shouldn't tell you that, though. I guess there are some things some people need to know and some things other people need to know. It really all depends…"

"What do you mean, some people?"

He turned back to the window. "Do you have to ask, Ginny? Think about… think about where… Potter will be five years from now. Think about where Granger will be, and the Weasel, and your friend with the rack, and the Patil girls. Hell, Gi- Gwen, where will _you_ be?" He paused, looking over his shoulder at me. "Then think about where I'll be. Where will I be, Gwen? Will I be with you, having a dinner party in the Burrow? Will I be playing Quidditch for Britain?" He stepped forward. "Or will I be conducting raids? … Will I be plotting against Potter, Gwen? Will I be hunted until I'm pulled into the Ministry, where your brother Percy will sentence me to life in Azkaban? What do you _think_, Gwen, what does 'some people' mean?"

I looked down at the floor; I couldn't speak. We stood there in silence again for what seemed like an hour. Finally, I made myself whisper hoarsely, "It doesn't have to be that way, Draco."

"It's life. Of course it has to be that way."

I felt very, very cold. I was crying, and thinking to myself, don't cry, Gi- Gwen. Your tears will freeze.

"Gwen… I… oh… fuck it… I'm… sorry…" he started to walk towards me, but I held my hand up.

"No, it's okay. I know it's true. I just… I'm, going to go downstairs, okay?"

His expression went cold again. He nodded quietly. Slowly, I turned to leave, but before I'd gone two steps I turned back and ran to him. I clung to him like a five-year-old to her father, not wanting to say goodbye. He went stiff, and I smiled a little to myself. Sure, Draco could do with lust-filled power kissing, but he needed a little practice on warm, comforting hugs. I could definitely help him there.

"I'm not the best with emotions, so I can't talk to you about stuff, but if they hurt you, I can at least best them to a pulp for you, okay?" He whispered down at my head. I didn't know what brought that promise on, but it really warmed me up, and I guess him too, because he finally clung back at me, kissing my head like I'd always wished Harry had done. But Harry never would. And now I realized that was a good thing.

***


	4. Threw My Brain Away

Some people say that I threw my brain away   
That I'm illogical and don't have much to say   
Some people say that it's foolish to believe   
In what we cannot see, so we're deceived   
  
All that I can do is listen to you   
All that you can be is out there, you'll see

**_--MxPx, Foolish_****__**

****

"Ginny."

I toss in my bed. I immediately recognize the voice, but I really didn't feel like acknowledging Hermione. I was too busy wondering when last night ended and my dreams began, or if the whole affair was totally intermixed, which wouldn't totally surprise me, as some of the things Draco had said were almost too good to be true.

"I know you're awake…" Hermione called in a singsong voice. She sounded much closer. Damn.

"_What_ do you _want_, Hermione?"

I could sense her flinching. We'd always been good friends, and I couldn't quite remember if I'd ever told her off or been mean or anything to her. Probably not. "Ginny, breakfast is going to end soon. I got worried for you," she finally said, her tone clipped. I opened my eyes and saw her standing right over me, her hair in a neat braid hanging down the front of her robes, her dark brown eyes cloudy in the light of the window. "Please eat something."

"Not hungry." I stated calmly, not meeting her eyes, as I cuddled deeper inside the bedclothes. 

She pursed her lips, rather much like McGonagall. "Then get up and get ready for class."

I finally sat up, staring at her defiantly. "You aren't my mother," I declared in typical first-year style.

"I'm your Head Girl," she said, looking back at me in much the same way, her hands on her hips. 

Decision time. Do I risk it? "Isn't that nice." I said quietly, before burying myself in the comforter again. She gaped and tried to pull it off me, but I hooked it under me with one hand. 

"Ginny, please!" I heard a sad sigh; I didn't fall for it. She'd get mad again soon.

There was a pause during which I felt her presence over me. I clung to the comforter.

"Five points from Gryffindor."

I stayed silent, though I didn't know why.

"Ten."

I tightened my grasp on it, my other hand pushing my hair out of my face before I finally stated, "You know this doesn't discourage me."

"Why's that?"

"You're just helping my… _boyfriend_… win the House Cup."

She hesitated, and then I felt her sit beside me on the bed. "Why are you making this hard, Ginny, I'm trying to help…"

"I don't need help. Why would I need help?"

"Ginny, your new boyfriend is Draco. If that doesn't constitute help, what does?"

I glared. "Why do you make assumptions about people?"

She sat and stared at me. "Ginny, it isn't an assumption, I've known him for seven years, he's… he's _bad._"

"You don't know him."

Her lips pursed again, she studied me carefully. "I don't _know_ him. So this entire time at Hogwarts with him making Harry and Ron and my lives hell. That was all… what, an act?"

I didn't meet her eyes. "Something like that."

She shook her head. "Ginny, can't you see what's happening?"

"Obviously I don't, Hermione. You're so smart, why don't you enlighten me like you're going to?"

She looked only slightly taken aback. She reached for my hand and I unconsciously jerked it away from hers. "Ginny, he's using you."

"Using me. I'm so sure. Why would he need me, doesn't he have to go and be evil to other, better people?"

She looked down at the floor quietly. I wanted to kick her and make her spill it, but the spoke up before I could get my leg around. "He's using you to get to Harry, Ginny. I thought…"

I bit my lip as hard as I could. "To get to Harry. To get to Harry… Of course, because he couldn't ever, _ever,_ like me for me, could he? I suppose no one could, eh, Hermione? Just use me to get to people. Who. Matter. Okay. You know what, Hermione? I couldn't give a flying fuck what you think, okay? Could you please leave now?"

"Ginny." She murmured quietly, but nothing else.

"_Don't call me Ginny_. My… my name's Gwen."

"I don't… want you to get hurt, Gin."

"Then go away, and I'll be fine."

I saw a faint glistening of tears on the brim of her eyelid. She nodded very slowly. "Fine, Gwen. You want to trust him. Trust the Death Eater's son. Over your best friends." She stood up and went over to the door, turning back very slowly and dramatically, and before she left the room, she whispered very quietly. "Goodbye, _Ginny_ Weasley."

I jutted my chin at her, bold to the very end. 

As soon as the door closed, I bent my face into the comforter and started crying.

***

"Gwen." I looked up from the rippling water of the lake. Draco was walking calmly towards me, his robes hanging over his shoulder and his hair blown out of its gel by the wind. "You okay? I heard the Trio talking."

"They do that."

He sat down next to me and eyed me suspiciously. "I'm supposed to be the smartarse here, alright? You're just the cute little smartarse-in-training."

"Thanks. Can I…?" I watched him lean back. He smirked at me.

He looked around. The grounds were nearly deserted except for a few young Hufflepuffs playing with an owl near the castle doors. "Aww, sure."

I sighed and scooted over, leaning my head on his chest, then sighed. 

"They don't trust me, do they?"

"Do you have to ask?" 

"Good point… You trust me, right?"

"Well… why shouldn't I?"

"Do you have to ask?"

I smiled slightly. "I trust you, despite you being a smarmy prejudiced git." I said, steadily and calmly. He smirked down at me and again, I had a brief flash of Harry holding me like this. The image stayed a lot shorter than it did last time, and as Draco squeezed my arm, just the smallest bit, in a comforting way, I knew why.

"Go back to them, Gwen. The Mudblood, at least. They need to know you'll be okay."

I looked up at him quietly.

"I already know you are… I don't want this to ruin you."

I thought about this, and he squeezed my hand. "This won't last, Gwen. You know me… Your friends are more important.  Keep them before me."

"Why…"

"Just tell her you're sorry. Then come back here. I'll be waiting."

***

It was about fifteen minutes before dinner, but I knew Hermione went in early to talk with the teachers and keep an eye on rowdy kids. She was Head Girl, after all.

Sure enough, she was up at the staff table, laughing about something with McGonagall. I think it's safe to say everyone in the school is scared about Hermione's ability to make McGonagall laugh. 

"Herm…"

She turned around, and, on noticing me, lowered her eyes and started playing with her sleeve. "Gin, I'm sorry, I think I was a little too-" I gently pulled her away from the staff table, so McGonagall wouldn't overhear.

"No, Hermione, I… I'm sorry. You were justified in thinking… that he wasn't trustworthy… He's never shown you how he can be. I shouldn't have gotten made at you for that. You were looking out for me." I shrugged.

She suddenly smiled a little. "Thanks, Ginny. I think I know how it is. Just tell him not to be a total prick, and maybe we can tolerate him… for you. But, you know, if he… kills Harry or something… you have to break up with him." 

She said the last part of this with perfect seriousness in her voice. It took a while, then I giggled a little. 

"Do I have to call you Gwen?"

I thought about it. "No, I guess you don't."

"Good, because it reminds me of this one muggle singer my friends at home love, and I just… don't… hmm."

I smiled again.

***


	5. I Wish I Could Feel No Pain

**[[[Author's Note: Written directly after reading the seventh chapter of Harry Potter and Something-or-Other by Fausta Darcy and Astrid Ackerly. Consider that your warning of upcoming insanity. A hint of that chapter and what the first few bits of this one might be like: **"I like mummy's blue dress the most!" Draco said, modelling said blue dress as he danced around in front of his mother's floor-to-ceiling mirror, "What do you think, Mr Snuggles?" Draco asked the legless bear. Mr Snuggles stared at Draco. "No YOU look like a whore!" the thirteen year old Draco yelled back at Mr Snuggles. Mr Snuggles stared at Draco. "Hmm, maybe we should burn all these dresses," Draco nodded, looking down at himself, "this one makes my butt look huge anyway." Mr Snuggles stared at Draco. "You don't have to AGREE with me, you uncaring son of a bitch!" ** And! **(Well. That just bumped the rating up to R. Astrid is so filthy. Hey - at least we didn't leave the typo. Astrid typed 'quicky' instead of 'quickly'. Can we say Freudian slip?)** And! **Anyway, Thursday at Quidditch practice, Astrid walked onto the field, carrying her (DAMNIT!!! What's the beater stick thing called? *breaks out 'Quidditch Through the Ages'* ... hee hee ... shuntbump. That sounds dirty. Okay, they're just called bats. But wasn't that worth it for the shuntbump thing? I bet Astrid would like to shuntbump Snape. Hee hee. *ahem*) carrying her bat and a vintage 1952 Swiftstick, (which also sounds so very dirty).**And!  **Fausta? Fausta promises you that it will be up within twenty-four hours, or she will sell her body over eBay. Ha ha ha. Okay, she really said soon. But whatever. I'm still selling her over eBay. Cardboard Hobbits don't come cheap. **If you haven't noticed, I am commanding you to read it. It's beyond screwed up, but the most hilarious thing ever too. Okay, on to my just-as-random-but-not-as-hilarious-story!]]]**

_Sometimes   
I wish I was brave   
I wish I was stronger   
I wish I could feel no pain   
I wish I was young   
I wish I would try   
I wish I was honest   
I wish I was you not I   
'Cause _

_I feel so mad   
I feel so angry   
I feel so callous   
So lost, confused, just mad   
I feel so cheap   
So used, unfaithful   
Let's start over   
Let's start over_

**_--Box Car Racer, I Feel So_**

"Hogsmeade Weekend!"

"Hurry Gi-Gwen!"

"Hogsmeade Weekend!"

"Oh, I'm coming, you do know you can call me Gin, right?"

"Hogsmeade Weekend!"

"But _Draco_ calls you Gwen!"

"Hogsmeade Weekend!"

"But that's like Aaron Schmudlach calling you 'Sugar Butt,' it's just for him to say! You want me to call you Sugar Butt?"

"Hogs-meade Week-end! Aaron Schmudlach called you 'Sugar Butt?' _Hogsmeade Weekend!_"

"_Shut up, Leah!" _Megan and I screamed at the same time, and she laughed loudly. 

"Jus' wanted to make sure you knew… because it _is_ a Hogsmeade Weekend, you know," she said with a sly grin.

Megan pondered this openly. "Gin, did you know that? I don't know, I think I did, seeing as _we're on our way to Hogsmeade_ youstupidcrazybint," Megan said her own pet name for Leah very fast, and I giggled as Leah came between us, skipping merrily. "You're so childish."

"Der." Leah retorted quietly, now glancing down the road, licking her lips slightly. "Aaron really called you 'Sugar Butt?' I mean, I knew he was a total, absolute moron, but if he did…"

"He really did." I piped up, and Megan glared at me.

"Ooh, can I have him?"

I giggled again, then went to look for a ponytail holder in my pocket. Once I'd looked up, Leah was gone and Megan could be heard screaming at her to come back that instant or there would be bloodshed. I watched them for a short moment, smiling slightly, when suddenly my ponytail holder was snatched out of my hands. "Hey," I admonished, but as I turned I ended up in the same position I'd been just a weeks ago, facing Draco Malfoy's chest, my nose on his prefect badge.

"'Lo." He said, and I could hear the smirk in his words. I looked up and grinned. 

"Where've you been?"

"Pansy had another fit. I left Blaise Zabini to deal with it."

"How sweet of you."

"Oh, I know. That's just the kind of guy I am." He tossed his hair back to prove his point, looking like a tonky male model. Suddenly, his eyes snapped to the side and Harry, Ron, and Hermione immediately came toward us. Draco pulled himself into a typically Malfoy pose, and Ron looked ready to grab me and run for it. Hermione, however, tried to keep her smile steady. 

"Hey, guys, we wanted to know if you'd like to walk around with us… you know, in Hogsmeade."

Draco looked at me. I shrugged to him and turned to Hermione. "Sure, it'd be nice for you guys to get to know each other," I finally said, hoping that Ron would ease on the death beams he was sending Draco. I coughed and grabbed Draco's arm with my left hand and Ron with my right. Hermione and Harry quickly scrambled to my right and we were off.

***

I suppose I was fooling myself if I'd ever really thought Ron or Harry and Draco would ever, ever even _try_ to make small talk, let alone try to get to know each other. I'd have to say it was the quietest afternoon I'd ever spent anywhere at all, especially in Hogsmeade. I think Draco _did_ once try to sneak his brand new dungbomb into Ron's Butterbeer Float, but that was the highest level of interaction the two had all day. The entire thing was blurred, however, because of what happened at about five o'clock, when Hermione suddenly grabbed my arm, going on tiptoe to look around.

"Ginny… Have you seen- where's Harry?" she asked quietly.

"What?"

"Harry's gone. Where'd he go?"

I looked around. He'd been so silent all day that I wouldn't have noticed if he'd slipped off. "I dunno. Think he saw Cho? I heard she's working in that nudie bar behind the Three Broomsticks—"

"Ginny! _I'm_ his girlfriend! He wouldn't want Cho now, would he?"

"Rub it in my face why don't you," I muttered as quietly as possible under my breath as I turned away from her on tiptoes. "Ron, when did you last see Harry?"

"Dunno." He said curtly, still a bit upset about the whole dungbomb thing. Draco, however, also got on tiptoes and looked around. He actually seemed to want to find Harry. A new development. 

"Ron, c'mon, look, we're due back soon."

"He probably already left, like I should now."

Hermione gave him a _very_ upset girlfriend look. "Fine, go. Selfish git."

He glared back and flapped the side of his robe dramatically, causing Draco to stop his search and do a mandatory eyebrow-cock. I sighed and turned to Hermione. "Maybe he _did_ go home." I suggested.

"He wouldn't go home without me." She said stubbornly.

"Hermione, he's your boyfriend, not your chauffer…" 

She rolled her eyes. "Fine… fine. We'll go. But I don't think he left."

"He can find his way back to the castle, Hermione."

Hermione bit her lip and stared over her shoulder back at Hogsmeade most of the way back to Hogwarts. Draco kept his eyes unwaveringly on the ground ahead of him until he stopped to open the door for us.

***

"Gin."

"Whmmm." I answered into my pillow.

"Gwen…" the voice wheedled, and there was a prod to my rib. I grunted, ready for the fight to not get up. "Ginny… Harry isn't in his dormitory." Finally I recognized Hermione's quiet voice. I grunted again but turned over to face her. "What d'you want me to do?"

"Ginny, I'm just really worried," she admitted, and I could see it. Her skin looked rather pale against her dark hair. Her eyes were on the ground as she kneeled by my bed. 

"Hermione…" I sighed. "He's a big boy, 'e can take care of 'imself."

"You don't get it Ginny, this is Harry Potter."

"Yes. Your boyfriend."

"No… the boy who lived, Ginny."

"Are you saying you think—"

She sniffled. "What if You-Know-Who got to him, Ginny? Right when we started going out?"

I was about to toss my Butterbeer. I know, it was my duty as The Best Friend of Poor Deprived Girlfriend to comfort her, but her devotion to this boy she'd been going out with for three weeks was a little much.

"Ginny, come on now, he's not just my boyfriend." She stated, leaning forward. "He's my friend too. I've known him for seven years, Ginny, what if something really has happened to him?"

Blegh. I sighed and reached forward, grabbing her hand firmly. It was all cold and clammy. "He's fine, Hermione, now go back to bed." I commanded with a squeeze. I barely saw her smile in the half-light. "You really think so, Ginny?"

"Of course. Harry can take care of himself."

"Thanks, Ginny." She said quietly, and finally left the dorm. I sighed quietly, knowing that Harry would be back before daybreak, and that he probably _had_ just met Cho Chang at the nudie bar. Now… He Who Must Not Be Named, or Cho Chang… which would Hermione be more upset over Harry meeting up with?

I finally fell asleep after pondering this for about fifteen minutes.

***

The next day, Harry wasn't back.

I sidestepped a few squealing third-years going over their Hogsmeade souvenirs, Leah and Aaron Schmudlach snogging feverishly, taking up two benches, and Megan glaring at them angrily from across the breakfast table, to get to Hermione sitting with her forehead on the crook of her elbow on the table, looking like she was either horribly upset or in very deep thought, either of which would have been rather likely. Ron was across from her, looking like he was trying to find the right thing to say. He was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes unfocused. Hearing me approaching, Hermione glanced up. I wasn't surprised to see her face not tearstained, she actually had been thinking about what to do the whole time. "Ginny. Have you seen him?" 

I shook my head, and upon hearing my name, Ron suddenly snapped to attention. "I know what happened." He snapped quietly. Hermione, obviously not trusting him at all, went back to her arm as she mumbled assent for him to go on. He didn't notice her lack of interest. Instead, he glared at me. "It was Draco." He said solemnly. At first I thought he was joking and almost started to laugh, but he looked very serious. "It was your damned boyfriend, Guinevere."

"What are you on, Ron?" I asked uncertainly. 

"I'm not fucking on anything Ginny! Are you that stupid? Your _boyfriend_ is a spy for You-Know-Who!"

"Shut up, Ron."

"I won't shut up, Ginny, he is! How else could Harry have gone?"

"How should I know, Ron? Bugger off, quit being so mean to Draco! He hasn't done a thing to you since we went out!" I yelled.

"_What about the dungbomb?_" He hissed, standing up and glaring over the table at me. I stood up too.

"That was a prank, Ron! You've never done one of those?"

"That isn't the point! He's only going out with you to get to Harry, he doesn't like _you!_" Ron bellowed with no apparent regard for tact. I stood there gaping at him until he finally realized what he'd said and his anger melted away reluctantly. "Aw, c'mon, Gin, it's not like you really liked him anyway—"

My lip quivered and I bit it until I tasted copper. "You… you… fuck off, Ron." 

"Ginny—" he started, reaching out for my arm. I slapped it as hard as I could.

"Get the hell away from me." I muttered quietly, stood up, and sped out of the room as fast as I could while still retaining my dignity. Leah and Aaron even stopped snogging to stop and watch me storm past. The Great Hall was silent as I made my lonely way back up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower, but then I stopped in the middle of the entrance hall, and made my way down to the dungeons, still not hearing any noise from the Great Hall except for the huge doors opening twice—the first letting two sets of footsteps run up the marble staircase, the second letting a clack of expensive shoes shuffle towards me in the dungeons.

I let him open the door and go past me, down a few steps. 

"Is it true, Draco?"

He didn't even look surprised, just turned to face me, his eyes twinkling in torchlight, and then fading to the dull luster of ancient granite as he saw my face. My eyes welled up before I could do anything to stop it, however much I screamed at my overactive tear ducts to stop.

"Well… fuck _me,_ I suppose," I mumbled to myself, then went back out the door, running the rest of the way towards Gryffindor Tower.

***


	6. Feel Her More than You

(Where Exactly in the books does it say "Virginia?" I'll give a cookie to whoever can give me a page number and book)

(Also: A Big Squee!, I just got the Box Car Racer CD. It's yay. Some of the songs are a little hmmm *stares at My First Punk Song* But Cat Like Thief, There Is, Watch the World, and Letters to God… *shakes head* wow. Probably a few more, but those are the ones I obsessed over the first run through the CD… If you liked the songs I've put on here so far, I'd recommend getting one or all of those songs… they're yay.)

_I fell down again, but I can't complain   
another false step could drive me insane   
all I got's myself, here to blame so   
I shake off the seat and I, start again   
oh no I said I want to go back   
but I can't win the shit; I'm gonna stay on track   
yeah, make a deal like that   
I keep my head up, but I never react_

_I wrote it down a list a month ago   
sixteen chapters of one thing you've blown   
the best thing yet to help you through and through   
that she was i feel her more than you_

_don't leave   
don't leave her_

**_--Box Car Racer, Cat Like Thief _**_(My neeeew favorite song!)___

"Gin?"

I grunted. It was that damned morning thing again. However, today it wasn't Hermione trying to get me up, it was everyone's favorite big brudder, Ron.

"This is the girls' dorm, Ron."

"Yeah… I know… But your… your roommates are… gone." His voice was nervous. Hermione was putting him up to this.

"That's nice. Leave."

He coughed.

"Okay, bye Ron—"

"Ginny, I'm sorry. It was mean of me to say that about your…" He mumbled something that vaguely reminded me of 'boyfriend.' I sat up. 

"Harry's back?"

"No."

I paused, staring at him. "So why are you apologizing?"

He looked around. "Because I… was a bastard to your" there was that mumble again "and it was uncalled for and I'm sorry and stuff…"

"Oh. So Harry's not back?"

"… No, Ginny, he isn't."

"Shit." I mumbled, then got up, checked the mirror hurriedly, rubbed some eye boogers away, and went to the bureau. "Ron, go away." He did and I quickly put on another skirt and tie. I couldn't find another shirt. Damnit. I snapped my shoes on and made my way downstairs as fast as possible, nearly running into Ron and doing my best to ignore him as he waited for me by the portrait hole.

***

In the Great Hall I went right to the Slytherin table, grabbed Draco by the back of his shirt, and pulled him backwards.

"Er, hullo, Gwen," he started nervously, looking up at me.

"You and I need to talk, Malfoy." I said calmly. 

"That's… sure, okay, let's." I let him up. He turned and stared at me. "Now?"

"Yep." 

"…Okay…" 

Crabbe was gaping at me; Goyle was cracking his knuckles. I flipped him the bird as a whipped Draco stood up and followed me out to the grounds. We went over to the tree where we'd kissed a few Saturdays ago. Everything around us was tranquil. It pissed me off. "Why, Draco?"

"Ginny, I didn't."

"Fuck you."

"Thank you, but I didn't do it, Gwen."

"My name is Ginny." I snapped. I had to snap. I wanted to believe him. So badly. But of course that was impossible. "…Then what was that last night?"

He shook his head. "I…" He cringed. "Okay, sit down. It's a long story. Wait, no it isn't. Okay, it isn't long, but it'll surprise you. Wait… not that either. Damnit, just stand up. Okay, I'm a spy. For Voldemort. I'm supposed to piss Potter off, and that's it. Until last summer. Father asked me if there was any way possible to get closer to Potter."

"Shit… Ron was right."

"No, no, see, I didn't know this was going to happen. Okay? I haven't even had contact with father since you… you know. Asked me out. I have no idea where Potter is."

"What, but…" I stared. "I… so where is he? You really are a spy? But Harry…" My hands flew to my temples. My head hurt.

"I honestly have no idea where he is, Gin."

"That's what the twins said when they shoved Ron up the flue."

He looked like he might snicker, but delicately stifled it. "You do know everyone thinks you've done it, especially after the show Ron gave last night at dinner." 

"Wonderful… well, didn't everyone just assume it before?"

"Oh, we knew you were a super evil git, but we just thought you were too full of yourself to not have told us you were a spy."

"Yes, well, it is hard."

I rolled my eyes. "Draco, we need to find Harry."

"Okay."

"I'm serious. They blame you, they blame me, I get disowned, you get hurt severely…"

"Oh yeah, that."

I sighed. "Draco, I'm serious. If you really like me, you'll help me here…"

"What can I do? Wait, what can _you_ do?"

"I don't _know, _you're the spy!"

"Egh… if father hasn't told me yet that they've captured Potter, he most likely won't tell me at all." 

"Wonderful," I mumbled. "So we're both screwed."

"Hey, you wanted to go out with me in the first place."

I sighed and turned away.

"Gwen, Gin, whoever the hell you are… I… I'm… blegh, I'm sorry."

"What do you want me to say, now? 'Oh, that's fine, I know you're a spy for the Dark Lord, but you _weren't_ the spy that kidnapped and/or brutally murdered my brother's best friend and my own _eternal unrequited love object _so then I guess it's all ducky now let's go in the Slytherin Common Room and make hot, monkey, love?!" I suddenly burst out, turning back to him and screaming the last three words at the top of my lungs. In the willow beside us, a flock of birds shrieked and flew away in a huge cloud.

We stood, staring at each other for a long moment. "Well, it's a better idea than I had." He finally stated matter-of-factly. 

_Ergh_. "And what was that?" I finally asked him, against my better judgement.

"Go after him. But I do like your idea much more, now that I think of it—"

"Ginny? What are you doin— oh… hello… Malfoy…"

I turned and saw Harry Potter walking along the edge of the lake with a sandwich and a plastic smile.

"Harry?" I yelled at the same time Draco yelled "Potter?"

Harry stopped and blinked at us.

"Where were you?" I asked stupidly after a beat.

"Er. Long story, that is. Where're Ron and Hermione?"

"Breakfast…" I answered, rather confused indeed.

"Thanks! See you."

And he went inside. Draco and I turned and stared at each other. He was as confused as I was. Another long pause.

"…So. Wanna try that thing in the Slytherin Common Room now?"

I punched him nonchalantly in the stomach and set off after Harry, still wanting to know what was going on. "What?" Draco yelled after me, then ran up to catch me, smirking the whole way.


End file.
